By Nancy Cruse
I’m looking for a little sympathy here. On the 21st of this month child number six (yes, I said six!) will turn 13 – my final journey through teenagedom with a child of mine. Dear God,help me!
Obviously I’ve had lots of practice. At this point you are probably thinking I am an expert on raising teenagers. Not so, my friends. God likes to keep us growing as human beings, always giving us “opportunities” to to become a better version of ourselves. Another word for opportunities in the teenage years is hair-pulling, stress-filled, I’m-not-sure-I’ll-live-through-this situations .
Much of parenting through the teen years involves being Mapquest for your child. They tend to veer off the route quite a bit between the ages of 13 and 19. Our job includes opening the map to their future and explaining how certain detours can impact whether or not they make it to the final destination of their choice. We need to help them understand the there are routes that will take them places they can’t return from or places they are not going to want to be.
As parents we often try to avoid having our children ever experience pain or uncomfortable situations. Sometimes it’s actually a good thing. If you have a child who continually runs out of gas (also know as making a bad choice) we have the opportunity to help them figure out what to do the first time and then let them handle it themselves going forward. Trust me when I tell you that one time of walking to a gas station for gas in negative 10 degree temperatures will make them remember to pay attention to their gas gauge. Let your child fully feel the consequences of their choices. If it hurts, he’ll stop doing it. You may have to endure some road rage, that is, teenage tantrums, along the way but it’s worth it.
As we help our child navigate the teen years it is critically important that we continue to pay attention to the route we are on. Does our journey include connecting with other parents of teenagers so we remember that we are not alone? Are we scheduling rest stops to recharge ourselves in order to stay strong?
Parenting teens is not for the faint of heart. It is one of the hardest things you will ever do. Pray for me – I’ll be praying for you.
Nancy Cruse has been part of the Bloomington/Normal community for the past almost 30 years. A widow, with five children, along with her late husband was a small business owner in downtown Bloomington. Now employed by State Farm, Nancy is active in the community, writing the Clare House newsletter and maintaining their Facebook page, hosting an annual Fourth of July Food Drive, a team leader and fundraiser for the Pat Nohl Lupus Walk, and a member of Toastmasters International, as well as volunteering in various capacities at Holy Trinity Church and schools. In her spare time, Nancy likes to run, bike, hike, read, sew, and be a vegetarian who occasionally indulges in a Schooners Tenderloin.
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